The workplace is much like a classroom. There you have your circle of friends, a bunch of other groupies that either want to get along with you or just isolate themselves from the world. And then there’s one guy or girl who gives you death stares and you don’t know why. An annoying co-worker around the office is fine, but a colleague who dislikes you in an indescribable degree is a challenge. If you experience the same “daily tension” every day, how do you handle it?
In one of our previous articles, we discussed and gave tips on how to deal a toxic co-worker without breaking the law. This time we’ll give these tips to manage up not only a toxic colleague, but the one who hates you for no apparent reason as well.
Dealing with a Colleague Who Dislikes You
1. Avoid Exposure
One way to avoid possible confrontations that may turn awkward or offensive, stay out of your hater’s sight as much as you can.
2. Deal with It
You can’t please everyone; accept it.
3. Plan Your Action
There are three stages to consider when approaching a co-worker who has bad blood with you:
Stage 1: Avoid exposure
Just like the first tip mentioned above, avoid your exposure to that person as much as you can.
Stage 2: Respond
Invite them out for a coffee after work to talk about the situation or respond to their insinuations in a professional manner.
Stage 3: Seek Help
If the negative colleague becomes an enemy in warfare who threatens your physical safety, reach out to the human resources.
4. Be the (More) Matured Person
You can’t control their reactions, but you can control yours. It’s challenging to stay calm when the other person is trying to run your patience dry. Then again, be the bigger person and show them respect and integrity even to a colleague who dislikes you.
5. Invite Them to Lunch
Don’t ask out for lunch to confront them. Instead, take this moment to say that despite the differences that you have, you’re willing to work on the relationship so both of you can still obtain the organizational goal.
6. Offer Some Help
A simple act of helpfulness may leave a good, permanent mark to a person about you. So if you see them struggling to work on their tasks or if they can’t fix their broken printer, help them out.
7. Find Your Common Ground
If you spot them talking about the new Lifehouse album they bought on iTunes (which you also did last week), or sharing their excitement to the upcoming Deadpool movie that you’ve been saving up for in weeks, you can use it to open a small talk that may help light up the mood.
Note: Don’t fake it. Otherwise, they’ll see you either phony or trying hard.
8. Keep the Good in You
Forgiveness doesn’t always need to be asked. People who seek peace and compassion need to forgive even the most unforgivable person. Remember, there are two kinds of karma: bad and good. Choose your side.
9. Get Over It
Did they respond to your “peace out” plan? If yes, great! If not, move on. You did your best to reach out and it’s not your problem anymore if they refused to be in good terms with you.
No matter what you do, there’ll always be that one colleague who dislikes you for no reason at all. Your role as a professional is to deal with this reality, find the light in it, and be a better person. Nevertheless, if your hateful colleague gets out of hand that it affects your lifestyle and work life, it won’t hurt to find peace in a new workplace.
Sources: Daily Mus | Inc. | Hearst Newspapers, LLC | SheKnows